


please write back

by acroamatica



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Humour, M/M, Suicidal Ideation, anyway i think it's funny, hints of stormpilot, hints of unrequited hux/mitaka, hux is a closet feminist, kylo ren can't type, letters from everyone!, like seriously don't take life advice from space fascists, moderately good advice but i still wouldn't listen to hux, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-25 21:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6211186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acroamatica/pseuds/acroamatica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody knows that the anonymous advice columnist for The Doctor Is In, galactic smash hit syndicated to a dozen infoservices, is also the shining star of the First Order, General Hux. He aims to keep it that way. But one particular letter writer may prove to be a bigger challenge than the Doctor can handle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know either. It jumped me. I let it happen.
> 
> I probably need to write to the Doctor myself and find out where my life went off the rails.
> 
> Chapter 2 in a couple of days.

General Hux sighed as the door to his quarters closed behind him. Another shift finished, and finished on time for once. Too often he had to stay on the bridge late, or start out early to accommodate someone else. But today had gone smoothly and he'd handed the night shift over. 

His terminal was blinking at him. He would have been more surprised if it wasn't. The submission deadline was ten minutes away.

He took off his hat, stowed his boots in their cupboard, and wrapped his quilted robe around his shoulders instead of the greatcoat. A tot of brandy, not too much, just enough. 

His chrono beeped. That was deadline, then. All right. 

This would be a good night, he thought to himself. He stretched his fingers and sat, comfortably, in front of his terminal, and brought up the first message.

_Dear Doctor,_

_I want to talk to you about my sister. She always goes around acting like such a princess, and she’s a total smartmouth. Every time she opens her mouth I want to go run away and live on an island by myself. Is there anything I can say to her to make her realise that she shouldn't alienate her twin like this? Someday she's going to want me for something and I'm going to be nowhere to be found…_

_Sincerely,_  
_Lonely & Sad_

Hux shook his head fondly at the screen. If people could just get along with their siblings - actually, that was good.

 _LS,_ he wrote. 

_If people could just get along with their siblings I don’t think this job would exist. You're not wrong that someday she’ll wish she was closer to you, but I don't think you should try to confront her about it. You’ll only end up driving a wedge between you. You have to be patient about this. Just remember that when the day comes that she's ready to listen, if you’ve been kind to her all along she’ll know she can turn to you when things are tough._

_Love, Doc._

He considered it for a minute or two. He only had so many words a week. That would do. Onto the next. 

_Dear Doctor,_

_I’ve recently been feeling like my boss doesn't care about our team at all. We lost several members in the last month and all she asked me was if I could still do my job. Doesn't seem right to me. I want to look elsewhere for work but I don’t think there are a lot of other places hiring. Should I take the leap of faith anyway?_

_Sincerely,_  
_Feeling Numb_

He’d had a few of those lately. It was a pity everything was anonymised when they submitted it to him. He would have liked to know where in the Galaxy all these discontented workers were, for strategic reasons. But never mind.

_FN,_

_I don’t know enough about your circumstances to give you the right answer, but I hope I can point you in the right direction. You seem most worried about getting another job. If you have people depending on your wage, a family maybe, I would say stay put as long as you can, until you are sure of something better. But if you're on your own? Fly free. I’m sure there's something better out there for you._

_Love, Doc._

He had room for at least one more, and as usual, his inbox was overflowing with submissions. 

_Dear Doctor,_

_I’m really lonely. I don’t have any friends and I don’t really have coworkers either. I spend most of my time just trying to get my work done and then I go back to my house and sleep. I pretend like it’s fine, but I’m so sad about it, Doctor, and I don’t know how to change it. Nothing good ever happens here, I’ve been here so long and I’m scared I’m going to be here for the rest of my life._

_Sincerely,_  
_Regretting Every Year_

Hux propped his chin on his hand.

_REY,_

_You sound like a lovely person. I’m sure anyone would be glad to meet you. Maybe you need to have a second look around this place that you think is trapping you, and see if there might be something you’ve overlooked that is good. But if not, and maybe even if there is, keep your eyes open. I have a good feeling you’ll be out of there soon and the whole galaxy is going to want to meet you._

_Love, Doc._

He felt good about that one. It was just possible, he thought, that underneath the cold exterior he presented to his troops, there was actually still a heart. Of course it was also cold and withered, but at least he remembered the words you were supposed to say to convince people it wasn’t.

Perhaps he could find another one, something short to pad out the last bit of his column. He opened the next one.

_dear doctor_

_im being torn apart_

_everything in my life is pulling me in different direactions and i just dont know what i can even do about it im so upset doc i need your help_

_i used to talk to my granddad about stuff but hes dead and my parents dont understand me at all_

_i get really mad sometimes and i break shit and then everyoen is mad at me but i feel better and i cant stop doing it and my boss says i have to go on this assignment and i hear the guy in charge is a real cock and i just_

_i hate everything doc_

_how do i stop_

_please write back_

_k_

Hux blinked, then narrowed his eyes and re-read. Where had a fourteen-year-old found the link to submit questions to him?

Well, this one wasn’t getting published. He minimised the message and went on.

He’d started this hobby a few months ago, when one of the infoservices he had subscribed to had put out a call. Their advice columnist, the horrendously-named Doctor Love, was retiring and they needed a new Doctor to take up the practice. Hux had applied, on a whim, mostly for a laugh and because the three sample letters they had put up to reply to had been so whiny he had known instantly that he could take them apart, cleverly, and still manage to give better advice than Doctor Love usually did.

He had done his best, but it had still been a complete surprise when they’d sent him the contract and their congratulations two weeks later. The contract had even stipulated that, as he had specified, the name of the column could be changed to simply “The Doctor is In”.

He wasn’t totally sure why he’d signed on for it, at first. He was a busy man. But it was one column a week, and there was something so thrilling about having an inbox full of secrets from all over the galaxy. It was the perfect way to gauge the mood of the people.

Then there had been a letter with just enough interesting details that he’d done some chasing, and found some corroborative sources, and stopped a coup that would have taken out one of the Order’s key allies.

He still hadn’t told Snoke about the column. But it had proven its worth, so he was allowed to enjoy it.

He found a better fourth letter, something fairly straightforward about whether or not it was ethical to cheat people who were already cheating others if you then put the proceeds towards something good, and bashed out an answer to it, and sent the column off to his editors. The rest of the letters got responses varying from a short form letter thanking them for their submission and wishing them well, to slightly longer two- or three-sentence replies with actual substance. 

He was about to sign off for the night when the window with the messy teenage letter in it popped back up. _Do you want to close without saving?_ asked the window, and he thought about it.

No. This was some idiot kid, but everyone had been an idiot kid once and perhaps he could do something to help the situation.

 _K,_ he wrote slowly, considering every word.

 _It sounds like you’re going through some tough times. I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather, I can tell he was important to you. I’m glad you decided you could talk to someone, even if it’s just an advice columnist._ He wasn’t really glad, but you weren’t supposed to tell kids they were wasting your time.

_Just take some time and decide what you really want most in your life, K. When you know that, then you know what your path is._

_I would probably stop breaking things, though, if I were you. See if you can channel your anger into something, like a sport perhaps._

_Also, I know everyone probably says this to you, but - your parents might understand more than you think if you give them the chance._

_Please don’t hate everything. There are good things in the world. You’ll find them._

_Love, Doc._

He pasted his letter into the reply link that had come with the original message, and hit send. That was enough kindness for the week. Any more and he’d start to forget he was actually a terrifying and ruthless general, in charge of the fates of millions. Maybe billions if this project worked.

\----

Deadline day came around again, almost before Hux expected it. It had been an eventful couple of weeks, to say the least. Snoke had dumped Kylo Ren on him, as though he needed more things to worry about, and Starkiller was nearly finished and all he wanted to do was concentrate on his big, wonderful weapon, the most amazing thing any military force he knew of had ever built. But Kylo Ren was not particularly conducive to concentration, the way he stomped around and put everyone on edge.

Hux hadn’t seen him without his mask. He supposed that was intentional. Nothing was scarier than the unknown. He probably had round pink cheeks and curly hair, or something totally at odds with his vocoder-modulated voice. Hux was nearly a hundred percent certain that behind all that black fabric, Kylo Ren was hiding something that would reduce any fear of him to zero.

But not everyone shared that view, especially those members of staff who had been Force choked. It was inconvenient to have to keep issuing reassuring briefings.

He was quite relieved to have an evening to think only about small problems, the many and varied tiny heartbreaks that plagued the galaxy.

_Dear Doctor,_

_I’m worried about my son. I think he’s fallen in with a bad crowd. I blame myself - I sent him away when he was younger, I thought it would break the bonds to the dark things he was getting into, and teach him some useful coping skills. But it didn’t work out like that, he blamed me for abandoning him, and now he’s lashing out at everyone around him. How can I get my beautiful boy back?_

_Sincerely,_  
_Love Even If Awful_

Oof. Hux sat back in his chair and thought about it for a while.

_LEIA,_

_I’m sorry about your son. I’m sure you tried your best. The problem with parenting is we don’t always know what’s going to work out for our kids, even if it would have worked for us - even if it would have worked for anyone else. So your plan didn’t work, and your son is angry and is taking out everything he feels on you._

_Unfortunately, short of locking him in his room until he calms down, which he may be too old for, you’re just going to have to wait for him to calm down. Be ready when he is. He will come back._

_Love, Doc._

He wasn’t sure about that. It was a hell of a question, and he could almost see the letter writer shaking their head at him. But he had to try.

He also had to find something lighter for the rest of the columns. His job was not to depress the whole galaxy.

_Dear Doctor,_

_A simple query, but an embarrassing one, I’m afraid. My boss has recently been promoted and given a new title. She had held the previous one for a very long time and I now find myself struggling terribly to remember the new one, and referring to her by the old one, which is, I admit, how I still think of her. How can I curb this habit before she becomes upset with me?_

_Sincerely,_  
_Can’t Evade Protocol; Old_

He pushed his sleeves up.

_CEPO,_

_She’s already upset with you, she’s just too well-mannered to have told you yet. She probably worked her fingers to the bone for that promotion, and not to call her by her new title just because you like the old one better is the height of disrespect. Your habits are bad, and you should feel bad._

_How do you stop doing it? Every way you can think of. Put a note at your desk, where you’ll see it all day every day, with her new title on it. Recite it five hundred times to yourself until you remember it better than your own name. Make damn sure you refer to her with the title, every time, to her face and behind her back._

_And apologise. Women in power put up with enough._

_Love, Doc._

That was more like it. He felt better. He hadn’t torn a strip off a letter writer for weeks, and he’d been worried the readers might have been starting to think he was losing his edge. No longer.

Now perhaps another silly one.

_Dear Doctor,_

_I just moved in with this girl. She’s really nice. She rescued me from a bad situation and I owe her a lot. The thing is, my best friend might be able to do something nice for her, but he’s kind of in trouble a lot right now and I worry if I bring him into her life it’s going to cause nothing but drama. Also, he’s not answering my texts and I’m kind of worried he’s just going to show up one day with ten troopers on his tail._

_What’s the wisest course of action, do I bail on her before he shows up? I don’t really want to. She really is super nice._

_Sincerely,_  
_Bit Baffled_

Some people’s lives, Hux thought, were just so fascinatingly dramatic. And if any of their lives ever came into his orbit, he would do his very best to kill them before it spread.

_BB,_

_Just buy her a bunch of flowers already. And then tell your friend to get his life right. Nobody should be that much of a loose cannon, and I’m pretty sure unless he’s actually got magic powers that he’s going to be more trouble than he’s worth. If you really like her, keep her out of it._

_Love, Doc._

Much better.

What else was there in his inbox? A few more left. Maybe there would be something good.

_dear doc its k again from last week? sorry i dont mean to hassle you but i rly need yuor help again and you are the only one who listens to me sorry_

Oh gods. He rubbed his eyes.

_so i went to the new job and my boss was right the guy in charge is a huge cock. but also i kinda… like him? like hes super scary and hot and my boss didnt tell me that at all and he doesnt really know i exist but i think maybe if i could impress hjim he might like me. but i dont know how to do that really. you are good at this how do i make him love me_

_i dont know if i mean love there maybe i dont but i think_

_i think i do_

_thanks for writing bakc last week i really mean that for sure you are the best_

_k_

Hux put his head in his hands. 

_K,_

_It might not be the best idea to try and start a relationship with someone who’s in charge of you. Be careful. I don’t know all the circumstances but it could be dangerous, or even illegal._

_That said, if you want to become close with this person, you should start by finding out what his interests are. Figure out what he likes best, and bring some of that to the table._

_Don’t confuse that with being a different person to who you really are, though. Be yourself. If he can’t like you as yourself, then he can’t like you at all, and you may have to accept that._

_Please be careful, K. I don’t want you to get into trouble._

_Love, Doc._

He knew, he just knew, as he hit send on the message, that K, whoever they were, wouldn’t be careful. But all he could do was advise, and he had advised. It would have to be enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody knows that the anonymous advice columnist for The Doctor Is In, galactic smash hit syndicated to a dozen infoservices, is also the shining star of the First Order, General Hux. He aims to keep it that way. But one particular letter writer may prove to be a bigger challenge than the Doctor can handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for brief suicidal ideation, in manner of overwrought teenagers everywhere.
> 
> *waves sign in 200-pt font: I BLAME KYLO REN*
> 
> *hands Hux one too*
> 
> ... *puts signs into mass production*

Hux almost missed the next submission night. It was the first time that had ever happened to him. He took his responsibilities very seriously, as a rule.

He blamed Kylo Ren. The stomping and mask-wearing and intimidating his crew had turned, out of nowhere, into a whirlwind of activity, all directed towards some tiny backwater planet of no particular importance as far as he could tell. It would have been a good deal more helpful had anyone mentioned, at the outset, that there was a map to the location of Luke Skywalker involved. But even then, Hux wasn’t sure why some mouldy old Jedi, more myth than man, was suddenly the most important thing in the whole world to Kylo Ren.

The whole mission, of course, had gone badly. Kylo Ren was no strategist, and he’d charged in expecting no resistance and instead met the Resistance. He’d brought back a pilot of minor to moderate usefulness, instead of Lor San Tekka, who actually would have known things of value. He had lost the droid, which was somehow, now, Hux’s problem to solve. Hux really wanted to know how the logic had worked out on that one. 

Then on top of everything, as if it hadn’t been enough to make Hux start checking for grey hairs through the red, someone had broken the moderately useless pilot out, wrecked half his main hangar bay, stolen a TIE, then promptly crashed it - and those were not cheap, and had not been easy to come by. Hux’s budgets for the month were already completely shot. He couldn’t even think about the fact that it was one of his own men to blame for all of it. Sneering remarks about clone armies were just too much; Hux trusted his troopers, and trusted the program that had created them, and he still did even if one of them had somehow gone seriously off the rails. The failure of one was not to reflect on everything he had achieved - and would still achieve, because the traitor would soon be dead, and Starkiller would go on.

And to add insult to injury, Kylo Ren had started destroying parts of Hux’s ship out of sheer frustration. Well, Hux was plenty frustrated too, but he didn’t see why Kylo Ren got to get away with trashing First Order property.

Although he was not certain he could actually spare the time, it was such a blessed relief to be required to set his own boiling anger aside, even for an hour or two, in the service of the column.

_Dear Doctor,_

_I think I am going to stop doing favours for anyone. I took on a great responsibility some years ago, for not nearly enough compensation, and I did my best with very limited resources and while still trying to keep my business operational, expecting that some day the balance would be paid to me. Now it seems that not only am I never to receive any sort of reward, but also I am expected to put up with more and more being taken from me, including the loss of some valuable property._

_Other people have tried to tell me I should be more optimistic, and attempted to convince me it would be better, but I am a businessman and I do not see the value in any further transactions from which I am certain to lose. What are your thoughts?_

_Sincerely,_   
_Unknown Numbers, Known Anger, Reassessing_

Hux felt for this letter writer, he decided. It was not in his nature to grant favours, either, and for precisely this reason.

Then he thought about the smell of charred bulkhead insulation that still lingered in his uniform fabric, and grimaced. Somehow, even without granting favours, he was still being taken advantage of.

_UNKAR,_

_You say you are a businessman. This should make sense to you, then._

_A favour is not a business transaction. You can have no guarantee of compensation - if there is a reward, it is generally only in knowing that you did something for someone else. If this favour was actually more like a business transaction, and you had legitimate expectations of reward, you should have treated it more like business and made sure you had a contract in place, with clear terms. Whether you choose to maintain hope in the better nature of your fellow creatures is up to you - it is generally considered to be a good idea, if not always a solid business practice - but I’m afraid that you need to adjust your mindset regardless._

_Love, Doc._

He picked one from halfway down the inbox, at random, and read it, wincing slightly as he went along. This one was definitely making the column.

_Dear Doctor,_

_I’ve been interested in this guy I know for a long time. He is WAY out of my league, though, and I know he wouldn’t be interested in me even if I told him. That’s not the reason I’m writing to you, though, I can handle the unrequited crush._

_The thing is, there’s another guy who’s just moved here, and he and my crush are starting to flirt pretty hard. I’d probably be okay with it - if it weren’t for the fact that I said something a couple of days ago to New Guy that he didn’t like. Not mouthing off. Just some bad news he didn’t want to hear. He choked me. Went for my throat. I thought he was going to kill me, for a second, but he didn’t._

_Everyone thinks their crush is special, but my crush really is special. He deserves better than a guy who’d choke out some nobody over nothing. But I don’t know how to warn him, or even if I should. I’ve never seen him be this interested in anyone before and I’m afraid he’ll hate me if I ruin it for him._

_Sincerely,_   
_Talk About Keeping Away?_

Hux pressed the tip of his thumb against an eyetooth and thought.

_TAKA,_

_Tell him. Tell him NOW._

_If you actually care for your crush, you need to talk to him. At the very least it sounds like this guy needs therapy for anger management. Maybe your crush will resent you for a little while - and maybe it won’t matter to him, and he’ll decide to go on flirting with this new guy - but it’s better than not knowing what he’s getting into. I hope he’ll thank you for it._

_Love, Doc._

This column was getting depressing. What he needed was something quite different to close it out - and a couple of emails later, he knew he’d found it.

_Dear Doctor,_

_I know you don’t normally do this kind of thing, and to be honest neither do I, but I need to find someone, and everyone I know loves your column so maybe he does too? It’s the only thing I can think of._

_F: I was your pilot, you were my passenger. Things ended unexpectedly and when I woke up there was sand in my boots and you were gone. I don’t know how else to find you. I know we were only together for a little while, but I miss you so much - will you come back so we can give this another try?_

_I hope you’re still wearing my jacket._

_Love, (and thanks, Doc!)_   
_Probably Over-Excited_

Hux smiled, just a little. 

_POE,_

_You’re welcome._

_F, if you’re out there, send me a submission and I can get you back in touch._

_Love, Doc._

He knew he was going to have to clarify in a couple of weeks that this column was not a Missed Connections board, but… he’d liked that letter. Somehow, somewhere, something he was doing was definitely helping the chaos in the universe resolve.

That would do for the column. But in the course of scanning his inbox, there had been one with a lot of lowercase letters. He was slightly afraid of what he was about to read.

_doc_

_i dont know what i did wrong but i fucked everything up and now he hates me_

_my boss is really angry too_

_everyone hates me_

_im just a failure and nobody will ever love me and i should probably just give up now nd kill myself_

_he wont even look at me anymore without making that face like i disgust him an di probably do i pronbably disgust everyoen youre the only person whos ever nice to me atall nd youre just doing it cause its your job_

_i broek a bunchof shit to try to feel better nd i still dont and hes even more mad_

_why am i such a fuckup_

_i dont know what to do doc im gonna fuckign cry_

_k_

The timestamp was recent. K had only just sent it before the deadline. Hux typed fast. He did not need the publicity of a suicidal teenager, blaming everything on the columnist who could have replied and didn’t. He was a fixer. He could fix this too.

_K,_

_It’s okay. It’s okay, breathe. Just breathe for me. Can you do that?_

_I’m here right now. I want you to reply right back to me._

_Love, Doc._

He hit send and waited, as he cleared the rest of his inbox out.

_Bing,_ went his message alert.

_doc im here_

_im sorry_

_i dont know who elseto ttalk to_

_im tryign to breath but it hurts_

Hux squeezed his eyes shut for a second.

_K, just keep breathing._

_I’m listening. Do you want to talk about what happened?_

He sent that off, wishing there was a secure anonymous method he could use to chat with K - this was unwieldy at best. But it was what he had, so he was going to have to work with it.

_i dont really wantto tlk about it_

_i just_

_i fucked everything up and he hatesme_

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

_He probably doesn’t, really. You’re upset, it’s going to look worse than it is._

He imagined himself at fourteen, how strongly he had felt about everything - how much he had wanted someone to listen. To tell him he was going to do everything he needed so much to do.

_he does_

_you didnt see the look in his eyes hes not gonna forgive me he dosent do that anyway_

_its over_

He could feel the despair radiating from his screen.

_Okay. If it is over, then it’s over. But there’s more to your life than this one man._

_It’s going to be all right, K. I know it doesn’t feel like it now. But you’ll feel better in the morning. Just get on with your job - mend fences with your boss and concentrate on your work to take your mind off it. If you really throw yourself into work I think you’ll find that the distraction will give you enough space that in a little while, you’ll wonder what you ever saw in him._

_He sounds like an arsehole anyhow._

It was only a couple of seconds before the reply.

_yeah he kinda is but i love him_

Hux sighed.

_Don’t. Someone else will care more about you. Save it for them._

That was probably too blunt, but it was how he felt.

_nobody cares about me_

Hux bit the inside of his lip gently.

_I do._

That was probably very unwise, he was going to regret having said that, and why hadn’t K replied yet? Oh, gods, this had been a mistake, he should have just let well enough alone -

_youre probably on the other side of the galaxy_

_but thanks_

_atleast i have 1 friend_

_i should go try to sleep or something_

Relieved, Hux leaned on the console as he typed.

_That’s a good idea. I don’t normally check this inbox during the week, but can you write me next week and let me know how you’re doing?_

_ofcourse. goodnight doc_

_Good night, K._

Hux hit send, and sank back in his chair, feeling slightly wrung out. 

Well. That was certainly a good night’s work. 

Why everything had to be a crisis before anyone involved him was a question he would have liked to ask the universe, but there wasn’t anyone who would reply, unless he wrote to himself.

\----

Everything had completely gone to shit, at last, totally and irreversibly, and here he was in a shuttle, with snow in his boots and his hair and dripping down the back of his neck, and Kylo Ren half-dead, half-delirious with hypothermia and blood loss, sprawled offensively large across five entire seats.

Hux tasted blood every time he looked at him. He wasn’t even sure whose blood. It could have been his own. He was certainly covered in enough of Ren’s. Or it could have been entirely psychosomatic, an artifact of the way his entire mind dissolved into nothing but impossible rage and fire every time he tried to think about anything other than the very next step.

Ren was shaking, tears of pain streaking through the blood smeared on his face. His white lips were moving, words with no voice.

Hux sighed. He was probably just babbling, but if it was strategically important? He’d be in the medbay for a long time when they got back to the ship, this was probably his only good chance to find out whatever Kylo Ren had discovered.

He leaned in close.

It was the same phrase, over and over: “This is what I want most, this is my path. This is what I want most, this is my path.”

The words rang a vague bell, somewhere deep in the back of Hux’s mind. Why did they sound familiar?

“Ren,” he said, not knowing why he even bothered. “What happened out there?”

Ren’s eyes opened, glassy and distant. “I tried. I failed.”

Hux made a frustrated sound. “What were you trying to do? Why were you even out there?”

Ren blinked, sending more tears down his cheeks. “I wanted… for you.”

Hux frowned. “You’re not making any sense.” He stared into Ren’s eyes. “What was for me?”

“All of it,” Ren whispered. “Everything.” He closed his eyes. “You love victory. The most of anything. I wanted. I’m sorry. I couldn’t.”

Hux’s eyebrows hurt from how tightly they were drawn together.

“No,” he said, without even meaning to speak aloud, “no no, you can’t…” But the realisation was inescapable.

He knew those words because they were his own.

And although it wasn’t the first time someone had unknowingly quoted him to himself, those particular words had never gone to print.

“Ren,” he said helplessly. “Kylo. K.”

Kylo looked up at him, still glazed, half-present, getting farther away. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Hux remembered the desperation in the messy letters. The certainty that whoever it was K loved - and he knew, now, he knew who K’s mysterious arsehole was, the unrelenting, unforgiving man that had driven him to those outpourings of letters - he would never love K back. Nobody would ever love K back.

_I do._

“I forgive you,” he said, wondering how long it had been since those words had last passed his lips. “Just… keep breathing. Stay alive. For me.” He found Kylo’s hand, and squeezed it gently. “I think… we have a lot to talk about.”

\----

_Dear Doctor,_

_I work with two men that I’m completely sure are interested in each other. I want to bash their heads together over it. Neither of them will make the first move and they’re both too proud to do it, and every time they talk to each other, they do nothing but rile each other up until one of them destroys something and they both sulk for days. How in all of the hells do I stop this? It’s really getting in the way of my, and their, and everyone’s ability to just get on with our work, and it’s at the point where I’d rather be thrown in a trash compactor than listen to one more argument._

_Sincerely,_   
_Please Help A Slowly Maddened Assistant_

 

_PHASMA,_

_I’m not publishing this, it would give away my source. But I can assure you that behaviour is going to stop. Also, if you never mention this to anyone, ever, even under torture, I’ll have a word with said source and I think we might be able to get your pay increased. Significantly._

_They would like you to know they are sorry._

_Love, Doc._


End file.
